“I was a teenager too, you know, so I understand exactly how you feel.” Okay. You adults were teenagers. We know that’s a fact, but that doesn’t make it any less incredible. But you understand exactly how we feel? I don’t think so! You ask why? Well, *suspenseful drum-roll* I have a whole damn list! So, adults, sample just some of the things a normal teenager has to put up with:
1. Curtains being thrown open at 7 a.m. to an apparently ‘good’ morning.
2. “Get up, its morning.”
3. “GET UP or you’ll be late for school/college!”
4. “That’s it!” Cold-blooded removal of the bed-sheets consequentially occurs.
5. “Hurry up; or you won’t make it to school/college this millennium!”
6. Being given the ‘my-kid-the-idiot look’ when you say that’s just what you’re aiming at.
7. Having your only tuition-free day ruined with the news of the like: “Oh by the way, Professor Kumar called last night; you’ve got an extra class with him today evening.”
8. When you’re done hyperventilating, and take to glaring in silent protest, being told, “Don’t look like that, he’s only trying to help!”
9. Drinking milk. That too, twice a day, because ‘it’s good for health.’
10. Being told to be good, polite and all of that … EVERYDAY!
11. Being plagued with pimples all year round.
12. Getting teased about them.
13. Worse, receiving unsolicited (not to mention useless) advice on how to get rid of them.
14. Not being allowed to watch adult movies when you already know *EVERYTHING*.
15. Having your time reading, watching T.V., surfing the net, listening to music, playing or doing anything that involves fun curbed and ruthlessly slashed down to a negligible amount.
16. Studying about different successively less intriguing laws, facts, formulae and processes that will in no way contribute to your well-being.
17. Worse, having to mug them up and vomit them onto the answer sheet in a stuffy and overcrowded examination hall with a teacher breathing down your neck all the time.
18. Worst, gaining only half the marks you deserve for all your efforts to actually even read that load of rubbish.
19. “Don’t lie to me!” (What makes it worse: you’re telling the truth.)
20. Getting grounded when you really want to go somewhere.
21. Having to tolerate partiality amongst teachers/professors.
22. Having your computer hang right when you’re in the middle of something really important.
23. Being told that the world doesn’t revolve around the fate of Harry Potter.
24. Being told that the newspaper contains more important things than celeb gossip.
25. Being told that your study table soft board should have study related things on it, not ‘distractions’ (i.e. posters of the most drool-worthy hotties).
26. Being laughed at when you say you’re in love.
27. Worse, being told that it’s ‘puppy love’ and you’ll grow out of it.
28. Having to endure watching your peers purposely flirting with the object of your affection without being able to claw his/her eyes out.
29. Experiencing heartbreak when your crush hooks up with someone else or turns you down in a really mean manner.
30. Worse, if possible, being told to get a grip and get over him/her because life is like that and it anyway was ‘just a crush.’
31. Being interrupted in the middle of something you really look forward to doing (e.g. playing the keyboard or guitar) to be given a dreary task like helping in the kitchen
32. Being told to (and later forced to) clean you room.
33. Being told to baby-sit your younger sibling while your parents go out to watch an adult movie. (Refer to no. 14.)
34. Having a curfew.
35. “I never thought my child could be so irresponsible!” (You’ve made just one, teeny-weeny mistake.)
36. Having to endure adults going back on their word and not being able to tell them that it’s not fair to promise something they don’t mean without getting grounded. (Refer to no. 20).
37. Getting limited (not to mention meagre) amounts of pocket money!
38. Being told that the music you listen to is ‘noise’ and real music was that of The Bee-Gees and the like.
39. “Stop that right now!” (‘That’ corresponds to some extremely enjoyable activity.)
40. “What are you doing?” (Hint: you’re not doing anything you shouldn’t be doing.)
41. “How dare you talk to me like that?” (Well, I thought it was a free country …)
42. Having the T.V. switched off when the movie you’re watching has reached an adrenaline-charged climax because “You should be studying!” or “It’s way past your bedtime. Get into bed this instant!”
43. Having the lights turned out when you’re reading a suspense novel because “It’s way past your bedtime. Go to sleep now.”
44. “I’m sorry, that’s the rule!” … all the time! TOO MANY RULES!!!
45. And the worst of the lot, “You don’t understand. You’re just a kid!”
And those are just SOME of our woes.
The bottom-line is, you were teenagers once; we are teenagers now. You have about as much chance of understanding exactly what we feel as I have of being declared a national treasure for writing this. So next time, don’t even try to use your standard favourite line of understanding exactly what we feel— because you know and I know and everyone knows that you don’t!
(This article was printed in JLT in September 2006 ... its special because its the first one I got paid for!)
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